In modern civilized society, people advocate for embracing humanity and enjoying freedom. Thus, extramarital affairs are not a new topic, and countless individuals have experienced the intoxication, addiction, and pain associated with them. From a structural standpoint, marriage can be viewed as a sort of “iron rice bowl,” especially after the initial stages of love transition into marriage. Over time, the intensity of emotions tends to plateau, leading to a period where one’s instincts may begin to stir. However, there is a difference between men and women when it comes to extramarital affairs. Men often seek affairs for sexual gratification, driven by a desire for momentary pleasure without considering the implications of betrayal. Women, on the other hand, often contemplate the consequences of infidelity, recognizing that it could lead to the end of their family and marriage. If a woman learns of her husband’s infidelity, she may respond with tears, while if she herself engages in an affair, she ultimately becomes the victim. This was the case for the woman described below.
This woman had a strong sexual desire, but for many years, she struggled with sexual dissatisfaction within her marriage, keeping her desires suppressed. She never suspected her husband of betrayal until she discovered he had a lover, realizing that his previous indifference stemmed from his extramarital affair. Heartbroken and reluctant to divorce for the sake of their children and the home they had built together, she made a promise to her husband to cease contact with the other woman. However, his infidelity left her feeling disillusioned with life, and she began neglecting her responsibilities at home, no longer returning from work at two o’clock every day to care for her children and husband.
She changed. She questioned how long her husband’s heart had been elsewhere, feeling ashamed and seeking to avenge his betrayal through depraved indulgence. Justified in her actions, she embarked on a series of affairs. The first occurred under the temptation of her boss, a charming middle-aged man who had previously shown her kindness. Despite her initial resistance due to her love for her husband and their home, her husband’s betrayal shattered her resolve. Fueled by a few glasses of wine, she succumbed to desire and engaged in a passionate encounter with her boss, igniting a newfound passion within her. Subsequently, she accepted all invitations and found herself indulging in various affairs, temporarily forgetting her husband’s betrayal in the primal desires of the moment.
As her indulgence escalated, she reached a point where she no longer refused other men. However, many began to realize that her indulgence was merely a means of seeking revenge against her unfaithful husband. The question remained: would she find solace in her actions, or would she only experience deeper pain and loss?
Emotions and life are complex, and each individual has their own reasons for the evolution of their marriage and their response to infidelity. It is unclear how many men, like her husband, engage in extramarital affairs in Chinese marriages, or how many women, like her, respond with similar actions. However, it is evident that women are no longer willing to silently endure their husband’s infidelity. Whether this brings them joy or sadness, women feel they have reclaimed their self-esteem. Nevertheless, it is important for women to be kind to themselves. Even if the marriage fails, they can still live fulfilling lives without succumbing to anger and self-destructive behavior, as the ultimate result may be deeper loss and pain.
