She started dating when she was 19. At that time, she was in the sophomore year, a sunny boy broke into her sight, and in that moment, her heart suddenly brightened. She had always liked a clean and warm man who met her aesthetic needs at the right time. She is excellent, never lack of heterosexual pursuit around, but only chose him. So, the two people talked about love very seriously, the love on campus is simple and unforgettable, everything makes her feel beautiful, she believes that in this world he is a person who really loves her and can really trust. After college, she stays in her hometown and he is going to a bigger city to make more money and come back to marry you. After that, the two struggle on their own track, letters, phone calls, and the occasional get-together all make their love sweet. At the age of 24, they had some money, paid for a house in the heart of the city, and had a happy future ahead of them. In the spring of 25 years old, two people because of less and more, love gradually evolved into affection, often quarreled for some small things, she wanted a marriage, he turned his back on her hard smoking, slow silence. Three months later, she heard from her friend that he had married another girl, and that their love affair had begun more than a year earlier. His betrayal let her heart from pain to numbness, six years of emotion even if a gust of wind blowing should also have traces, how in his heart so put down?
For six years, she trusted him like she trusted herself, the man who had promised to give her the future had easily betrayed her, and what kind of love she could believe. After the breakup, she is gradually losing the ability to love, so the pain and pain can only be licked flat alone after solving the mask of forced laughter. Until another handsome little boy showed up in life. He is two years younger than her, like a big boy who needs to grow up, simple and kind, and there is still a long distance from society. He pursued her on his own initiative, earnest and passionate, simple and clean, considerate and without a trace of pressure. After experiencing the unforgettable love of her ex-boyfriend, after experiencing the struggle alone, her heart is tired, she only needs to have a person who can let her trust to let her rely on his embrace, and this embrace can never leave, let her feel solid and warm. Without much fanfare, she accepted him and lived with him. After living with him, she found that all she wanted was his warm companionship, more often she was taking care of him, making friends with him, traveling with him, taking him to enjoy the wonderful scenery of life, but less a shoulder to rely on.
The quiet days passed slowly, and she was 28 years old. Time is a cure, the ex-boyfriend’s hurt to her became a scab on the heart, do not touch it will not bleed. She is like a husband and wife with her current boyfriend for many years, what she has is affection and dependence, she repeatedly hesitated when entering the threshold of marriage, and has always felt that he is still a child, and can not bear the responsibility of a husband. Life is sometimes arranged like a play. When she was 28, her father died suddenly and she met a rich old man at his funeral. In the future frequent contact and mutual care in life, let her and the old man gradually produced different feelings. She felt that he had a very mature, stable temperament, and with him, there was a feeling of being cared for and loved. Although the old man was 50 years old and had a family, the thick shoulders gave her a sense of security. Perhaps a woman needs a feeling of being loved when she is vulnerable, and it happens that the old man keeps giving her care and love, and the balance of her feelings naturally favors the old man. She found the feeling of being a woman in the love of the old man, and went to bed again and again in the ambiguity. She felt sorry for her boyfriend and wanted to break up with him, but she couldn’t bear it.
Now, she has no emotional strength, so indulge. The little man is still simply smiling, he does not know that her world has changed, does not know that she is ambiguous with a man. So she became a divided person, in the old man, she was a indulging little woman, enjoying love, this love with helplessness. To the little man, she was more like a mother, watching him grow. To the old man, she loved, but could not get; To the little man, she loved, but did not want to hurt. Now she is nearly 30 years old, still very confused, her emotional sky like this will still have sunshine? She did not know that she was approaching the age of leftover women, but she was still wandering in such a chaotic life and could not enter the palace of marriage.